Dilemma

I don't know what feeling is this that I'm feeling now. But I'm pretty sure none of you guys will understand. 

When I'm in secondary school, i tend to think polytechnic is a place full of cool, fashionable, hyper, fun, slack people. And, life in the polytechnic is very slack (where you can skip lectures and tutorials whenever/whatever you like). But, all of this became total bullshit when i step into polytechnic. Sigh, i don't know why am i regretting when I've already got foreign bodies as my spirit booster. But, I'm kinda regretting getting into this course i am in now. I seriously can't draw nor sketch. I am struggling with my design fundamentals and drawing and illustration.(And these two module is the core module of my course,damn.) So i seriously don't know what to do/what should i do now. Any advice anyone?. :/

Besides, I'm having some problems with my love. He found out something that he should not. And, we've just got to trash things out(in a harsh and loud way,as usual). I'm still thinking of whether should i continue or not. ): But, we're speaking about a 3 year relationship here. Therefore, I am stuck in a dilemma. Gosh, I realise i am seriously a problematic kid(as what junwei said) Sigh. I seriously think that i am one. 

Now, I've got to juggle 2 important assignments. One for colour theory/design fundamentals, the other is digital media studies. Gosh, I'm like so dead now lah. ):

NMHRGK! I seriously need to sit down and chant for wisdom.(like now.)